The Vow Part 2
by Jazzy Raveler
Summary: Going back? That's the first step to fulfilling a vow...a vow that Sean can't help but to fulfill...This is Sean driving back to Toronto! R&R! Ok guys sorry for the selfpromo but visit my Profile and my Season 6 Degrassi Forum k? Thanks!


**Authors Note: **Ok guys here it is! Part 2! I'm sorrry I didn't post it yesterday but I had too...revamp it a little. I had actually written this part before I realized I was gonna write the other...Anyway tho, beautifulxDreamer, MHxxPAPER DOLL, SweetPrincess4eva, RichiO3, and Arodbritt42806, thank you guys _so_ much for the wonderful reviews! Beautiful and MHxxPAPERDOLL? I cannot believe that I actually made you guys cry! That makes me so happy! (Does that sound wrong?)

But, **_Solaris _**and **_BabyPrincess56?_** You guys are **_the best_**! You 2 have really inspired me to keep writing! Thank you **_so_** much! Ya'll are my girls! If either of you ever decide to write, make sure I'm the first to know...!

All right, sorry everyone who's not the aforementioned peeps, but I had to mention them!

Alright, on with the story you guys...

**_Disclaimer: No I don't own Degrassi and I'm pretty sure I don't own this song "Everything I do". I mean, it was Bryan Adams, but, who knows what happened last night...?_**

**The Vow Part 2;**

**The Journey**

The road is too damn dark to be driving on

But I still am

I don't know how I am

I'm tired as Hell,

Spent all morning lifting weights

-It takes the edge off-

And just hanging out with...

Well, I guess you'd call 'em "friends"

But, not really

It's kinda hard to get close to people

When ya left your heart somewhere else

Anyway, I hate that kinda talk

But still...

She's been on my mind all day...

I kept tryna avoid the thought that I needed to be heading back

That makes it a lot easier

At least, I thought it would

But it didn't

And when I got home,

Or back to my parents home, anyway

This afternoon?

All I could do was remember that day

That vow that I made

And her eyes...

Her face...

That last mental image that I-

I haven't been able to let go of

And so

I packed up whatever crap I had

AndI hopped in my car

I didn't call to tell anybody in Toronto

Just told my parents bye

And started driving

I sure hope I read her last expression the right way

Or at least I hope she'll be able to read mine

When she sees me again

**_Look into my eyes - you will see what you mean to me_**

I don't know how I stayed gone an entire year...

And a few months actually

But, still,

All I could do was think about everything that had happened

And try to wash it all away

Like it was all someone else's really messed up life

That I'd had nothing to do with,

But even though I can't shake the thought of...

Rick

And what happened to him

What I might've done to him

I've learned to just-

To just let it go...ya know?

It was really tough

But, I've realized that, some things?

You can't change 'em

They were just meant to happen

And that's why

I'm hoping so bad

That _she_ feels that way about me and her

_**  
Search your heart - search your soul **_

_**And when you find me there you'll search no more **_

Driving down this road is like

I don't know

It's too quiet

Brings up too many memories

Memories that I'm used to

But right about now?

Heading back there?

The last thing I need is those memories

Especially the ones about her

The way she'd look at me

The way she'd smile

And laugh

Before it all went to pot of course

Thanks to my treating her like crap...

And then of course there's Ellie

I try pretty hard to forget how badly I musta hurt her

I really did care about her

I think about that a lot

I wonder if she knows that

I'm pretty sure she did at one point

But once I...

Well, after everything _"happened"_

As my therapists liked to say,

I'm pretty sure she realized

That I still cared about...

_Her_

Loved her

That it's really messed up

When I think about it

But then again

I'm pretty sure Ellie wouldn't blame me for saving the girl I loved

I mean it was really pointless for us to stay together anyway

Knowing that I...

Well, I love _her _

And no matter how much it hurt Ellie

Or even now

How much it might hurt her

I can't just let this go

She means too much

_**Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for **_

This drive is pretty depressing

I can only see as far as the car lights

And I'm probably driving too fast

Not that I particularly care

I'd better slow down though

The last thing I need right about now is a ticket

Or better yet to get myself killed on my way to Toronto

_That'd be just great,_

I think

Then I pause,

Remembering the day that I did almost get myself killed

It's still so..._scary_ to think about

Not because I woulda died

But because I know

To save _her_?

I'd do it all over again

**_You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for _**

Going back to Toronto?

I always knew I would

Every day of my life

For that entire year

I knew I'd go back

Not to Degrassi

Not to Jay

Hell, not even to make things "right" between me and Ellie

-Even though i guess I will try to-

I'm going back for one reason

And one reason only...

Emma Nelson

_**You know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you **_

To take my mind off of other more depressing thoughts

I wonder how much everyone has changed

I'm not to sure about Ellie

I don't think she'd do too much differently

She'd already toned down the makeup and the freakish hairstyles

But has she been...?

I don't know about her cutting...

I try my best not to think about that

I hope she was so mad she decided I wasn't worth cutting for

Anyway, Ellie isn't too good a memory to think about

Not that I love her

But I do still _care_ about her

And I can't stand thinking that I hurt her

Jay

Last time I spoke to him?

Man, that was a long while ago

He said something about him and Alex going through it

Didn't say why

Just said she was doing "the whole chick thing"

But knowing Jay and Alex

I'm sure it wasn't nothin' they couldn't handle

He's probably still doing the same old shit tho'

Besides that he promised he'd look out for her

I hope he has been

Jay isn't the best guy, I know,

But he was still the closest thing I had to a friend

Or even a family,

Before I left

And Emma...

_Emma._

I have no idea what's happening with her

I wanted to call her

See how she was doing...

But I couldn't

And even though

That last look she gave me

I could tell she still cared about me

A lot of shit can change in a year

And a half

She mighta found another guy...

But that doesn't really matter

'Cuz I'm not scared anymore

I'm not afraid to tell her how I feel

Whoever the hell she's with

Even if I wanted to, I couldn't hide it

And knowing Emma, I think she'll pretty much figure it out

_**Look into my heart - you will find there's nothin' there to hide **_

Stopping for gas

I catch my reflection in the one of the cars side-mirrors

I hadn't thought about it

But I guess _I've_ changed...

I'm not _that_ much taller

But my face looks...thinner I guess you'd call it

_Distinguished,_ Emma'd probably say

It looks a little tired actually

Right about now

And my hair?

I haven't gotten it cut since I moved to Wasaga

Never cared too much about it being cut anyway

But I guess now,

I _really_ didn't care

And, unlike Tracker,

Neither did my mom and dad

So it just grew out

Luckily, it didn't get past my shoulders

I walk back out after paying the cashier guy

And get in the car

This time when I look in the mirror

A thought hits me

I don't just look different

I am different

I'm not scared

Or faking

Or trying to be bad-ass when I'm really just...

I don't know...

I just do what I gotta do

But I wonder,

_What will Emma think of me, **now**?_

Not that she'd been my biggest fan when I left

But,

I hope she likes me a lot better than she did then

_She will_

I think trying to convince myself that she won't just like me...

She'll _love _me

_**Take me as I am **_

If she doesn't

Well...

I'll just have to prove to her that saving her life _wasn't _a coincedence

It meant something

About...me

It changed me

I never thought I'd do something like that

Not that I'd put too much thought into having to risk my life beforehand,

But now I know

You'd do a lot for love

_**Take my life I would give it all - I would sacrifice **_

Everything about her

It's just so...

Amazing

I can't beleieve I ever let her go

Let_ Us_ go

But this time?

_If _she takes me back?

I won't let us go down

Again

Not without one hell of a fight

**_Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more  
Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_**

The ride is only 2 hrs

I'm not sure what time it is

Or how long I've been driving

The road is starting to look familiar though

Not that I've been paying it too much attention

I just can't seem to stop thinking about her

About everything we went through

Everything she helped me through

How the Hell did I screw that up?

I don't know what I was thinking before

But I know now

No girl could ever...

They couldn't even come close to Emma

Ever

**_There's no love - like your love  
And no other - could give more love_**

Sometimes I can't...

It's so hard for me to figure out how the hell I lasted a whole year

Without Emma

Everything was so...expected

My parents were the same

My grades

The same

-not bad not good-

The girls?

They were...

They're not even worth talking about

Or maybe that's just cause I couldn't be with any of 'em without comparing them to... Emma

Everything was much more with her

I felt like...

I don't know

She made me feel like I had a reason to be alive

Not just to be

But to be loved by her

Glancing over at a burst of light in the corner of my eye

I see the sign

"**Welcome to Toronto**"

And smile

It might as well say "**Welcome back to Emma's life"**

Cause that's the only thing I see when I look at it

**_There's nowhere - unless you're there  
All the time - all the way_**

Some shitty hotel room

That's were I'll stay for tonight I guess

I pay the girl-she looks about my age- and she nods taking the money

Then she does a double take, staring at me with wide eyes

"Is something wrong?" I ask her,

She looks at me like I'm some...ghost or something.

"You're-you're Sean Cameron. I'm Shelly Mills. I went to Degrassi, I mean, I was there. That day? When you saved...that girl, um, what's her name?"

"Oh, um, Emma. Her name was Emma Nelson."

I say after a painful pause,

"Yeah, I'm so glad that you're here.

I mean, I have _always_ wanted to tell you that I think that was soooo brave of you."

The girl says, touching her chest and squinting all crazily

Like she's so amazed,

"I don't think I know _anyone_ who'd risk their life to save someone elses."

I still feel that pain in my chest when people act like I'm a hero

But, I can deal with it a lot better now and I just say "Thanks,"

And take the key off the table turning to head toward room...

4A

"Um, I'm sorry, but can I just say one more thing..." the girl says and I turn around looking at her,

"It's just, well, when it happened, I read one of your interviews. You said the girl-Emma- that she was your friend...?"

I'm not really sure where she's going with this but I just nod,

"Yeah...?"

"Wasn't she your _ex_-girlfriend?"

I just stare at her a little angry now,

"What's that have to do with anything...?

"Well, just that, she couldn't been too good a girlfriend; I heard _you_ broke up with _her_.

"But, I guess..."

She smiles at me with a knowing look,

"She musta been _some_ friend."

I don't really answer

It's kinda odd that she-a total stranger-is the first one to realize this, out loud anyway

So, I just look at her,

Thinking a second

Before, realizing it doesn't matter, if I tell her

And I finally say with a nod

"She is."

**_Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for  
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more_**

Laying in this bed is really...

Pointless, I guess

I don't think I'll be getting much sleep

Her face comes up everytime I close my eyes

And I wonder how she's doing

Then I wonder what she's doing

Then I wonder If she knows I'm thinking about her

And I _hope_ she knows...

I love her

**_I would fight for you - I'd lie for you  
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you_**

She probably doesn't

Has no idea that I'm laying in this hotel bed

Unable to shake thoughts of her

The thoughts of what I said

As I watched her leaving

And the fact that

I'm actually about to do it

I have to get some sleep

Because tomorrow?

I'm gonna keep my promise

The promise that she has no idea I even made

The vow

_I'm coming..._

I think, as I close my eyes

_I'm coming back for you._

**_Ya know it's true  
Everything I do - I do it for you_**


End file.
